Two Mouths To Eat You

Why can’t I treat it like I can treat coughing

“You have 3 events to go to.”

I am reminded by the Machine.

Same day, same time

Wherever it has always been.

 

Reminder: “It’s Okay To Speak” starts in an hour.

It tings – over and over again

as they hit going, maybe, maybe, going

while I think about a hot shower

 

Oh, hot shower sounds okay

I could stand under it for hours,

No one has to know

how I spent my entire day

 

The water hits my collar bones

and dribbles down to them wrists

Pain screams itself out

as the blood reopens the slits

 

I forgot.

I forgot again.

 

Maybe this is why I slept like a baby last night

A baby

newly born or nearly dying?

curled up in its own mess

rarely blabbering and

mostly crying

 

I run back to my room

as water and blood

make instant flowers on my hands…

instant…

if you could boomerang it

you could get a handful of fans

 

The glass is shattered and

the clothes are torn

I am not sure how I know what I do

My phone isn’t even on

 

Is this a dream

or has this happened oh so often

I know what happens

when my mind makes two teams

 

Shhh, listen.

The blanket is calling you.

Shhh, attention

It says it is warm for two.

 

Two.

Two of me

Two of my heads

and half a heart

We welcome you

with an extra dose of smart

 

Don’t worry

I only woke up half an hour ago

This has just begun

and I’ll try to talk slow.

 

Chorus: Welcome.

 

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